What is an Animal Totem?

Nowadays when I see a wild animal, I do not simply see an animal; I try to understand the spiritual significance of that animal.  To me, this is what Animal Totem means.  According to my favorite website on animal totems,

"The animals express the spirit nature of that species and exemplify qualities we can learn from. They are psychological and spiritual symbols that convey to us qualities we are needing or lacking in our daily lives. They are a mirror of us reflecting our own innate qualities to help ourselves better understand our connection to all things."

If you pay attention to nature or simply look around, there are animals everywhere.  When you see the same animal over and over again, you need to pay attention this.  There is a message for you.  If you have an unusual sighting of an animal, pay attention to that too.  I look up that animal or insect at this site http://www.starstuffs.com/animal_totems/index.html. 

Last week I found a large centipede hiding under a paper cup in my basement bathroom.  To be honest, I am not over fond of bugs especially if they end up inside my home.  So I ran the water over it but it was too big to go down the drain.  So I continued to run the water and captured it in a cup and tossed it outside.  Hey, at least I didn’t kill it!  I quickly looked up what a centipede meant here it said,

“Movement into new psychic connections and relationships. Protection against psychic deceptions. Balance, coordination, ability to survive stress, the beauty of coordinated movement.”

So what do I do with this piece of information?  I try to understand how this animal sighting is significant in my life now.  Sometimes it doesn't make sense right away, so I file it away and take a look at it later.  That’s the way Spirit works, you have to pay attention, make note of it and eventually it will make sense.  Like putting puzzles pieces together. 

Today I had the privilege of meeting my animal totem, a black bear.  I was doing a guided meditation as part of an online course called Find Your Calling in the Akashics (you can find this course on the www.dailyom.com).  My animal totem was supposed to appear out of the forest and there it was, a black bear.  I asked the bear its name and it said Mario.  He told me that he is my animal totem because he is a combination of ferociousness and nurturing.  Do I know exactly what this means?  Not really.  Could it be referring to me?  Possibly.  According to my animal totem website, a bear represents:

“Sub/Unconscious mind, strength, grounding, inner energy of soul to find answers, judgments, are you too critical or not critical enough, inner power to taste the honey of life. Bear teaches caution, quiet of the mind and silence within. There is great power in introspection which awakens insights and opportunities. Bears teach leadership, natural healing abilities and defending when necessary. Are you eating a balanced diet? Utilizing your intuition? Being cautious? Brown, black or white, what does the color say to you? Bear will show how to balance and express oneself.”

Isn't it amazing how one animal can represent so many things and deliver such a detailed message?  So pay attention to the animals that appear in your life, look up their significance and learn from the messages they are giving you!

My Guardian Angel

Six months ago I decided to purchase some guided meditations on Amazon.  For years I wanted to meditate but I was always intimidated by the idea.  How could I quiet my mind when my mind was always constantly racing?  Plus I would probably sit there chastising myself for not being able to clear my mind!  So I decided to start with guided meditations.  One of the meditations I downloaded was one to meet your guardian angel.

I have always fantasized about my guardian angel.  Who could it be?  A relative who passed?  Or my dad?  I imagined my guardian angel with me in times of distress but I never consistently thought of him/her.   I imagined that they would show up in life or death situations but I couldn't imagine them being around the mundane happenings in my life.  I always liked the idea of angels but I was never sure they existed.  I really wanted them to be real! Well, little did I know, I was about to find out!

When I began my guardian angel meditation, I laid down in what yogis like to call the corpse pose.

I was never fond of sitting with  my legs crossed.  My feet always fell asleep or my back would start to hurt.  So I started the meditation in the corpse pose and tried to focus on the narrator's words.  She guided me through a garden and eventually to a person.  I could imagine all this well up until this point. As I focused with my mind's eye a.k.a.  my third chakra (centered in the middle of your forehead), a form started to appear before me.  I had no expectations on who it could be.  I even imagined it would be someone I didn't even know.  I couldn't really see the person at first, like he/she was in fog.  This is often called "the veil".  When a medium tries to connect with a spiritual being it's like trying to see through a veil.

When I asked the being who it was, he answered Archangel Gabriel.  Ummm what?!  I laid there in shock.  But the meditation continued so I just followed it.  Then he started to appear more clearly to me. He had long dark brown hair and a blue gown with a roped belt and humongous wings.  I mean huge, a lot of artwork out there does not do it justice!  Later I searched the internet for a picture that resembled him.  This was the closest I could find...

But again his wings were much bigger.  They were probably twice as high as the picture above.  He also had a twinkle in his eye and of course, was very handsome.

I was immediately comfortable with him.  I hugged him and I could see his enormous wings around me. I asked him if he had a message for me.  He said, "Keep doing what you're doing.  You're doing a good job and so many people (in the spirit world) are watching you and they are proud of you."  We didn't talk much after that.  We just enjoyed being together.  We danced and he twirled me around.  He flew into the air and flapped his ginormous wings.  He was simply awesome.

I was actually crying during the meditation and I felt my heart chaka opening.  He felt like a fatherly figure and I felt safe with him.  After the meditation I still couldn't believe it.  I didn't even know that someone's guardian angel could be an Archangel.  For those of you who don't know, Gabriel is in the Bible.  He is the angel who told Mary that she was going to give birth to Jesus!  According to Doreen Virtue's book Angels and Ascended Masters, Gabriel is the angel of parents, art and communication. Since I am a parent, an art teacher and a blogger, well that's just about perfect!

Since then I have connected with Gabriel many times.  It's quite easy for me to communicate with him, I simply have to take a few deep breaths and then feel out with my mind if he's there.  He always is.

Why We Should Play With Magic

Have you ever heard of the song by Katy Perry called the Dark Horse?  The lyrics go like this:

I knew you were
You were gonna come to me
And here you are
But you better choose carefully
‘Cause I, I’m capable of anything
Of anything and everything

Make me your Aphrodite
Make me your one and only
But don’t make me your enemy, your enemy, your enemy

So you wanna play with magic
Boy, you should know what you're falling for
Baby do you dare to do this?
Cause I’m coming at you like a dark horse
Are you ready for, ready for
A perfect storm, perfect storm
Cause once you’re mine, once you’re mine
There’s no going back

Mark my words
This love will make you levitate
Like a bird
Like a bird without a cage
But down to earth
If you choose to walk away, don’t walk away

It’s in the palm of your hand now baby
It’s a yes or no, no maybe
So just be sure before you give it all to me
All to me, give it all to me

So you wanna play with magic
Boy, you should know what you're falling for
Baby do you dare to do this?
Cause I’m coming at you like a dark horse
Are you ready for, ready for
A perfect storm, perfect storm
Cause once you’re mine, once you’re mine (love trippin')
There’s no going back

This song plays with a lot of stereotypes about magic: that it's forbidden, that it means putting a sexual spell on men and that it's all powerful.  There is a reason why magic has a bad name and it has to do with female power.

In BC,  people worshiped both both gods and goddesses.  Then 2,000 years ago goddess worship dropped out of sight as Christianity began to grow.  Coincidence?  I think not.  

Part of my spiritual journey is to understand feminine power and one way to do this is to learn about ancient goddesses.  A second way is to embrace my menstrual cycle.  I recently read a book called Moon Time: a Guide to Celebrating Your Menstrual Cycle by Lucy H. Pearce.  I've decided instead of ignoring my cycle and pretending it doesn't exist (i.e. the woman's curse), I would instead try to understand it. Everything contains cycles, the four seasons is a well-known example.  The definition of cycle is a series of events that are regularly repeated in the same order.  And inherent in that definition is that each week varies.  So during any woman's menstrual cycle, each week varies.

Do you remember the commercials that advertised you can do anything during your period, even wear a white bikini?

Like who decided this was a good idea?  In fact, Pearce says that during the "bleeding time" we should be taking it easy.  This is not the week to be doing high energy work or making big decisions.  The week of our periods is the time to regroup. And what does society tell us?  You can do anything during your period.  Don't let it stop you.  But this is not necessarily what is best for women.  And there certainly is no understanding of how cycles work and affect women.  

Did you know that a woman's cycle used to be tied to the moon?  Pearce says that "the most common menstrual pattern is to bleed on the dark moon and to ovulate on the full moon...the 28 day menstrual cycle correlates with the moon's cycle."  How many women out there have a cycle like this?  With the advent of birth control and artificial light (which changes our natural hormonal response to the moonlight) our cycles are all out of wack!

Why is this important and what does this have to do with magic?  The source of feminine power is within the womb.  This is the ultimate source of our creativity, where we grow our babies.  Does this sound like magic to you?  Well it is!  

Other ways that feminine power manifests is in our ability to nurture and use our right-brown power i.e. yes, psychic abilities such as intuition, feeling, thoughts that convey messages for ourselves and others.    

So Katy Perry sings "So you wanna play with magic?  Boy you should know who you're falling for". Go ahead play with magic.  It's not a bad thing and for women, it only comes natural.  No one is going to burn us at the stake for this.  It's safe now.  Embrace your magical female power.  

Helping a Soul Cross Over

I had my second mediumship class with Joy today. Today I focused on connecting with souls that Joy could verify herself.  While I was connecting, I would just receive thoughts or sometimes I would see what I would call pictures in my mind.  One of the souls I connected to was a little girl.  I had the feeling this girl haunted Joy when she herself was a child.  Joy verified this and said that yes, as a little girl she was scared to death of the basement and she had imagined snakes under her bed.  I understood that this little ghost girl was bitten by a snake in the basement and consequently died.  I also knew that she liked to hide in Joy's closet.  Joy said she didn't like to leave her hand or foot dangling over the bed for fear "something" would touch her.

The ghost girl used to play with Joy but Joy did not remember this.  I saw a blue ball that they would play with together, but Joy said she didn't remember that either.  I sensed that the ghost girl was very mischievous, she liked to scare or "play" with Joy.  She said she was sorry for scaring Joy.

I could picture Joy's bedroom...a small twin bed on the right, a window straight ahead and a small closet on the left.  Joy said the only inaccuracy was where the closet was...but she said that she used to change bedrooms in the house so that may explain it.  

I paused at this time when I was not getting any information.  And then I asked myself, is this girl stuck on Earth? I wasn't sure so I asked Joy if she thought the ghost girl was stuck.  She was!  So Joy asked if we should help her cross over.  I enthusiastically said yes!  This time Joy did most of the talking and she asked the girl to look around for the light.  The girl said she was scared and she was afraid of the snakes on the other side.  Joy told her that it was safe on the other side, only love and light.  She asked the girl if she wanted her mother to come and get her.  The girl refused saying she was scared of her mother. Apparently, Joy said the little girl's mother used to lock her in the basement so that was not a good choice.  Joy then asked if her grandmother could come get her and she was also scared of her.  So Joy asked her angels to come get her.  And for a few minutes we both sat in silence.  After a while, I felt light (like a weight had been lifted) and I sensed that the little ghost had gone into the light.  Joy verified that she did.

My soul literally soared after this.  I felt wonderful helping this little girl who was stuck in Joy's childhood home for at least 45 years if not longer!  I am also amazed that Joy could communicate with a the same soul I could.

How to Interpret Your Dreams

I have always been a prolific dreamer and I often remember my dreams.  That being said, I forget a lot of details of my dreams if I don't write them down in a journal.  But some dreams do stay with me, especially if I think they're unusual and I think about them a lot after I wake up.

Have you ever looked at a dream interpretation dictionary, looked up your dream and it still didn't make sense to you?  I used to think that dreams were symbolic but I still could not make sense of them. Once I really starting delving into past lives, my dreams started making more sense.  I started to take my dreams more literally and they started to make sense as past life memories or stories.  This is especially helpful if you had a bad or disturbing dream and have no idea what it means.  For example, the last "bad" dream I had was quite disturbing and it woke me up in the middle of the night.  When the dream begins, I suddenly know that I am responsible for killing a young horse.  I see that the horse has been severed completely below the shoulders (gruesome I know but hang in there).  I try to get rid of the young horse by putting it into a pit.  The mother horse approaches the pit, looks into it and recognizes its her baby.  Suddenly she looks up at me with an intent to get me for this.  She starts after me and I run for my life toward a farmhouse, knowing if the horse catches up to me she will kill me (and rightly so I might add).  When I get to the door of the farm house I have to open three successive doors to enter.  I make it inside just in time and I wake up.

As I lay there disturbed about the dream, I asked myself why am I dreaming this.   My only conclusion is this must be a past life dream.  Of course I could go the traditional route and try to understand the symbology of the dream...like the young horse represents something that ended or an idea I rejected, but that seems like too much work.  It's just easier and makes more sense that this is a past life memory.

When you have a dream, ask yourself what is the lesson of the dream?  What am I supposed to learn? Then ask yourself who is in the dream and does it represent someone in your present life?  When I reflected on the dream, I felt that I was running away from a mistake that I made.  I knew within the dream that I did something wrong.  The lesson is that I have to face my mistakes and not run away from them.

As for anyone familiar in the dream I came up with a disturbing answer/thought.  I believe the soul of the young horse is the same soul of my beagle who passed away over two years ago.  Let me tell you a little about him.  His name was Tucker and he was originally my husband's dog.  He was 4 years old when we all met.  Tucker was not an easy dog to live with.  He was a dominant fellow who was barely trained when I met him (sorry hubby but it's true).  Of course here comes a new member of the family (me)  who is also an alpha female.  So of course we clashed.  Although I loved Tucker, it was hard to love him sometimes even though I tried.  When he passed away I was wrecked.  I thought I was prepared because he had been sick for months, but my heart still broke.

Tucker and I, Christmas 2004

In the weeks and months after he passed, I dreamed of him several times.  In the first dream I saw him as a young Tucker running wildly in a grassy field.  I figured that was a good sign that he was happy now.  In another dream he was older and heavier like he was toward the end of his life.  There were older kids picking on him, trying to ride him like a "horsie"  (wow I see how this applies now).  I gently tell the children to get off of him, that he's old and fragile.  Tucker looks up at me gratefully.  I understood this dream as Tucker's message to me that he was grateful that I took care of him in the end.

As I think of Tucker now, I do really miss him but sometimes I feel ashamed that I didn't have more patience with him.  Regardless of how frustrated he made me feel, I still took care of him and he was my constant companion until the end of his days.  And I think through my dreams, I have understood what kind of past we had together and how during each successive lifetime he gave me lessons to learn and I had to rise to meet the challenge of them.

So if you have a dream you can't figure out, ask yourself the following questions:  what is the lesson of the dream?  How does this lesson apply to you today?  Who is familiar in this dream to you?  Because the dream may be more than symbolic, it could actually be a past life memory reminding you of a lesson that you learned or may still need to learn.

Many Lives, Many Masters NYC Conference March 8, 2014

I traveled to New York City last weekend to attend Dr. Brian Weiss's conference on past lives.  The conference title Many Lives, Many Masters is also a title of one his books.  When I attended the Hay House I Can Do It! conference in National Harbor last fall, Dr.  Weiss presented there as well and led a group meditation. During the meditation I remembered quite a few past lives and so I find his method of mediation/hypnosis very effective.  Since then I purchased one of his CDs on meditation which I have had good results with as well.

Dr. Weiss and Oprah

My hometown is New York City and I don't get many chances to visit.  This trip was a special treat for me, since I did it alone (parents with young children know what I am talking about).  Just being on the bus by myself reading, listening to music and writing in a journal without interruptions was just pure pleasure.

As I was on the bus, we traveled down a road I often drive on called Sycolin Creek.  It's a rural road and known for deer.  There are fields of corn and quaint farm houses with sheep and horses along this road.  Because I was on a commuter bus, I was higher up than I usually am in my sedan. Then I had a realization, we often see the world from one viewpoint, like from the car or from the ground.  But there are actually multiple views, from above and from below.  And just because we don't see it doesn't mean it doesn't exist.  This same concept can be applied to the spirit world.  We have a three dimensional view but that doesn't mean that there are not other views or dimensions.  You just can't see it from where you are standing.  So keep your mind open, and know that what you see is not all that is and it's not the complete picture.  There could be a stream you missed, a deer in the woods or a hill above you that you didn't notice before.

On Saturday morning I checked in to the conference.  As expected, most of the attendees were women. This is no surprise to me and it doesn't make me sad, I just take it as a sign that women are "waking up" faster than men right now.  In addition, for thousands of years women have been suppressed, both physically and emotionally, and literally we are rising up and and breaking free.  These are all good signs.

As Dr.Weiss spoke to a bigger-than-expected turnout of 2,000 people, he shared some statistics about belief in past lives.  He said more than half of the world believes in past lives.  In the US about 25-35% of Americans believe in past lives, so we are actually lagging behind the rest of the world (no surprise there).  I felt these facts were reassuring since I often feel alone in my beliefs.  He said countries like India and Argentina are very excited about past lives. He said it was slowly changing and that more and more people are becoming open to it.  In addition, only half the people at the conference would have a past life memory but they might get a message from spirit instead.

During the day, we did three meditations.  Two were focused on past lives and the final one was focused on healing an ailment.  We also practiced psychometry.  According to Wikipedia, psychometry means spirit measure and is a form of extra-sensory perception characterized by the claimed ability to make relevant associations from an object of unknown history by making physical contact with that object.  In other words, you hold a stranger's object of choice, meditate on it and receive messages about that person.  I was especially excited about trying this out.  

Past Life Memories

During the first meditation, which was 30 minutes, I remembered the following (Dr.Weiss asked us to remember a childhood memory, while in utero and then a past life):

1. I was a little girl of about four years in this lifetime.  I had pigtails and I was swinging in the sunshine at Riverside Park close to where I lived in Manhattan.  I was feeling very happy.  My father was there watching me.  Suddenly I noticed a boy close to my age standing at the top of a slide.  He had dark brown hair in a bowl cut and brown eyes.  Then I jump to a scene where he and I were sitting next to each other on a small patch of grass watching a ladybug.  We were just watching it, fascinated.  I recalled my father standing there watching us and then suddenly the little boy was gone.  I realized that the boy was not in physical form but in spirit and I felt very close to him.  When he left I felt very sad. 

Riverside Park, NYC

2.  While in the womb, I could feel myself floating and feeling very safe and loved.  I could hear my mother speaking in Filipino, and my father's voice as well.  (At this point Dr. Weiss asked us to fast forward to our birth).  I remember as I was being born, I was losing all my past life memories.  I felt cold and a very loving nurse wrapped me in a blanket.  She seemed familiar.  

3.  Here I remembered a life between lives on Earth (this is my first memory of an in-between life).  I was in a large castle-like building and I was a being of light.  I looked like a column of light but I could see an image of a human-like person inside. There were many light beings rushing around, busy.  It reminded me of 5th avenue on a busy day. We were communicating to each other telepathically, saying hello and how are you but not pausing our work.  We were "earth angels" helping humans!  I felt emotional remembering this.  There were so many requests coming through that we didn't have time to stop.  

I forwarded to a later time in that life where I am with my soul group.  A soul group is a group of souls that reincarnate together over and over again.   My husband, daughters and parents were all there.  We were planning our lives for our incarnation in this lifetime.  I saw us gathering together laughing at some of our Earth plans.  Later I saw us getting ready to incarnate in chronological order.  So my parents went first.  I was holding hands with my husband, ready to go.  Then I remembered Archangel Gabriel and I having a conversation alone, just the two of us.  We planned something together for this lifetime.  Something I was going to do and he was going to help me.  I saw an image of a key.  A key to unlocking something?  I am not sure.  

In the afternoon, we did another second 30 minute meditation.  

A male spirit guide named John appears.  He shows me rooms in the Akashic Hall of Records (a place in the spirit world where all knowledge is stored, including each person's soul book).  I remembered the following past lives.

1)  I see an image of me as a male warrior throwing a spear at a woolly mammoth.  I ask John what's the lesson for remembering this life?  I hear that I must appreciate the animals in my life and never take them for granted.  In this past life as a warrior, I did not appreciate how this animal provided food and clothing for me.  

2)  It's 1500 during the Renaissance in Italy.  I am a male artist working under the mentor-ship of the great artists of that time.  I was afraid to speak my truth because often people were persecuted, tortured and killed for voicing their beliefs.  

3)  My friend Peter (name changed for privacy reasons) asked me to remember a past life with him and this is what I remembered.  This is the first time I did a meditation where I intended on remembering a past life with someone.  I wasn't sure it would work but it did.  This life was during Atlantis.  I am wearing shoes that look like Santa's elf shoes and they are made of a shimmery material.  I am also wearing a robe of similar material.  I am female and I am friends with Peter.  He is a like a mad scientist and he is working on experiments that he shouldn't be working on.  I have warned him that he shouldn't go down this path and it was dangerous.  But he refuses to listen.  Fast forward and Peter dies in an accident as a result of his experiments.  I feel sad that he didn't listen to me.  But the lesson in this life is that I can counsel someone but they have the free will to do whatever they want.  So the lesson is to let it go. The lesson for Peter is to avoid extremism and stay balanced.  I die peacefully of old age, outliving everyone that I loved.  

Psychometric Exercise

Dr. Weiss asked us to exchange an object with a stranger.  I exchanged my wedding ring with a woman sitting in front of me.  She gave me a necklace with the initial S on it.  Dr. Weiss asked us to sit quietly for five minutes, open to receiving messages, images, thoughts or feelings while we held the object. At first I kept thinking of Archangel Michael.  So I asked him what's the message?  He told me that the woman I was reading for had to trust her abilities.  She had to work on her self confidence. Because there was an initial S on her necklace, I kept wondering what the name was.  I thought an "Sa"  name like Samantha or Sally.  But then I thought the S was not her name but her child's name.  I also got the impression that this woman was going on a vacation somewhere sunny, perhaps without children. 

When we starting discussing our impression,  the woman, Jane told me that her son's name had an "Sa" in it and yes, she was going to San Francisco by herself soon.  I asked her if she ever prayed to Archangel Michael and she said no, so I encouraged her to seek his help since he has a interest in her. 

She envisioned me living in a two story house surrounded by trees.  This is an accurate description of my house.  She also saw me taking off two rings and putting them in a box on my dresser.  The dresser has a mirror.   She had the impression that there was nothing negative about taking off the rings.  This was correct as well.  I often take off my wedding and engagement rings at night because in the morning my fingers swell up and the rings are tight.  Ironically, I just got those rings re-sized!  She sensed that my bedroom was green (it's got teal bedding).  She also thought about Roanoke, VA.  I had no idea what that was about.  But I have filed this away since I am sure it will come up...

So I would say that was an extremely productive day!  And I met a few people that hope to keep in touch with!

Why Frozen's "Let It Go" Is No Ordinary Song

Every time I listen to the song Let It Go from Disney's movie Frozen I feel emotional.  I would get a lump in my throat or my eyes would tear up.  The singer Idina Menzel does an amazing job of singing the song, but of course it's more than that,  so I started reflecting on it.  If you are not familiar with the song, here are the lyrics:

                                                                        "Let It Go"

The snow glows white on the mountain tonight
Not a footprint to be seen
A kingdom of isolation,
And it looks like I’m the Queen.

The wind is howling like this swirling storm inside
Couldn’t keep it in, heaven knows I tried

Don’t let them in, don’t let them see
Be the good girl you always have to be
Conceal, don’t feel, don’t let them know
Well, now they know

Let it go, let it go
Can’t hold it back anymore
Let it go, let it go
Turn away and slam the door

I don’t care
What they’re going to say
Let the storm rage on,
The cold never bothered me anyway

It’s funny how some distance
Makes everything seem small
And the fears that once controlled me
Can’t get to me at all

It’s time to see what I can do
To test the limits and break through
No right, no wrong, no rules for me
I’m free

Let it go, let it go
I am one with the wind and sky
Let it go, let it go
You’ll never see me cry

Here I stand
And here I'll stay
Let the storm rage on

My power flurries through the air into the ground
My soul is spiraling in frozen fractals all around
And one thought crystallizes like an icy blast
I’m never going back,
The past is in the past

Let it go, let it go
And I'll rise like the break of dawn
Let it go, let it go
That perfect girl is gone

Here I stand
In the light of day
Let the storm rage on,
The cold never bothered me anyway

I think this is a tremendous message for all of us today, particularly girls and women.  This song is talking about dropping the facade and letting your true self come through.  How many girls out there were taught to be quiet, good, obedient and don't ruffle any feathers?  I was that girl too.  

I love that my little girls love this song.  And every time it's played and we sing it, it helps all of us to be true to ourselves and not abide by rules of what we "should" be.  

In the movie, once Elsa (the character who sings the song in the movie) overcomes her fear, she learns to love.  And she realizes love could harness her power.  Once we let it go, we will realize our true power inside.  And I want all the little girls out there to let it go and be free, and be one with wind and sky.