Staying Centered During the Emotional Storm

My ability to remain calm while in an emotionally charged situation was tested a few weeks ago.  My family drove up to New York for a family funeral. We only stayed one night over at my sister's house. Since my sister and I don't see each other very much, we stayed up till 1:30 am talking.  As usual, my sister offered us her bedroom for the night.  Although I am not 100% comfortable with this and I suggest we can sleep in the guest bedroom, my sister always insists.

After calling it a night, I realize I forgot my cell phone charger in the living room.  I creep quietly down the stairs knowing my brother in law is sleeping in the living room.  In the pitch dark, I hear my brother in law's booming voice in the dark, "I hope you realize I spent all day cleaning the house for you."

My immediate response was "OK, thanks."  Then the tirade started.  And here's the miracle.  I remained calm.  I didn't get upset.  I didn't take it personally. Heck, I couldn't blame him.  I don't want to give my bed up to anyone.  For once I didn't take criticism personally.  And I didn't cry! Wow I have come a along way! Even my husband was impressed.

My sister came downstairs and calmed him down.  As I was getting ready to go to bed, I bump into my brother in law in the hallway.  I braced myself.  He actually apologized and hugged me.  I told him I was more than happy to sleep in the guest bedroom.  He said he WANTED us to sleep in his room and that he didn't mean what he said.

So did he say those things because I didn't react negatively to him when he yelled at me downstairs? Perhaps.  I do believe that negativity begets more negativity.

But I do feel thankful to him because he did me a favor by testing me and I passed!  And I demonstrated to myself and others around me that even though I am sensitive, I can remain calm and centered in an emotional situation.  Not to mention I still giggle about it every time I think of it.

How Patrick Swayze Helped Me Become a Medium

Yes it's true, sounds crazy right?  Well let me explain...

Early this year I was taking a Tarot Class and we ended up discussing dreams.  My teacher said most dreams are symbolic.  Well I had a dream about Patrick Swayze and couldn't figure out what it symbolized.  So she asked me to tell her the dream.  This is what happened.

I was walking alongside Patrick Swayze in Los Angeles.  We kept stopping in different places and Patrick look so unhappy everywhere we went.  I finally turned to him and said, "The reason why you are unhappy is because this place does not match your values."  That was it.

My teacher paused for a moment before answering and she said that she believed that I actually connected with the soul of Patrick Swayze.  Then she asked me if I dreamed of people who have passed.  Why yes, I do all the time (I thought everyone did, I realized I was wrong about this).  She then told me she thinks I have medium abilities and asked if I wanted to learn from her to strengthen them.  I said yes, why not?

I have to admit, I wasn't really crazy about pursuing this.  There is some creepy factor about talking to the dead.  I mean, what if they hassle me?  What if they woke me up in the night?  What if, GOD FORBID, I woke up and they were standing at the end of the bed?

Well despite my misgivings, I decided I should at least try it.  And I surprised myself.  No I shocked myself.  We practiced just opening up to whomever would talk to me.  That worked!  Not only could I see them but I could hear them too.  In another session, I did a reading for my teacher.  Her grandmother, aunt, spirit guide and mother all came through with accurate details.  In fact, my teacher told me the reading was so good she felt like she should pay me!  The sessions helped me trust myself and go with my first answer (call it intuition or gut feeling).  The other important lesson is, the "knowing", the thoughts and the images that I have always received my whole life meant something.  I realized that I had been dismissing them my whole life as "random" and they really meant something.

Since my sessions with my teacher, I have worked on other courses to strengthen my abilities, both on line and in person. When I conduct a Reiki session I use my mediumship during the session too. It's not uncommon for a past loved one to come through for my clients.

So thanks to Patrick Swayze, I am on the path that I am on right now.  Thank you Patrick.

Finally Finding My Life Purpose

Yes I know it's been a while since I posted.  Things have been weird lately.  I mean, I still see many angel signs (feathers and numbers and even angel wings in the bathroom mirror) but feel like Spirit has been quiet...like they are "busy."  I have a good friend who is an Angel Intuitive as well (you can check out her website here) and she's been feeling the same thing.  She's even gone as far to say she's losing her psychic abilities which I know is not true.

But I wanted to spend time talking about finding your life purpose.   I have been searching for this my entire life.  I always did well in school (despite not excelling at aptitude tests like the SAT or GRE) and I have always wanted to help people, especially people in dire need of help, such as the poor, the hungry or those suffering from war.  By the time I was a college student at New York University (NYU), I narrowed my major down to Urban Studies.  Being a native New Yorker and in love with the city at the time, I felt it was my duty to help.  I looked at government as being the answer or way I would do this.

After two years at NYU, I transferred to SUNY Binghamton basically because of tuition costs.  At the time NYU cost $22,000 a year (seems low compared to my nephew's current tuition of $56,000 a year), so I felt it would be better to transfer there.  The catch was there was no Urban Studies major available, so I picked the closest thing: Political Science.

When I graduated in 1995 I had no idea what kind of job I could get.  A friend suggested I go to grad school so I dodged that bullet and got my Masters in Public Administration.  After graduating I moved back to NYC and got a job in development.  I soon realized I didn't like development and started applying for other jobs.  Actually let's be honest, I got fired from that job and I didn't really care.  I applied for federal jobs because it paid more.  I got offered a job in the city and in Washington DC and I decided to go to DC.

To make a long story short, I kept trying to make a difference but it wasn't working.  And I kept running into crazy office politics, or I got promised to move to a department I wanted to be in and it never happened or, saving the best for last, at my last job I got appendicitis and almost died.

Okay I get the picture now.

All the money and time invested in that career didn't seem to matter.  I know now that this was not a path I was supposed to continue.  So in frustration, I begged my husband to let me leave that job. I did and I focused on something else, having a family.

After my oldest daughter was born, I became a Stay At Home Mom.  And I was happy.  At least I didn't have to deal any difficult people at work.  But I still had that nagging feeling, How was I going to "help"?

Last fall, after seven years of being a stay at home mom, I hit a wall.  I was burnt out.  I hated cooking. I hated doing the laundry.  For years I told myself that I was supporting the family but I needed to do something for myself.  Something other than being a mom or a wife.  So I did two things: became a certified Zumba instructor and got a job teaching art.  I loved teaching art and I still do it.

In the meantime, a friend and I reconnected and we both realized we were on the same spiritual path. She was getting trained in Reiki but I had no interest in it--she is now a Reiki master.  But something changed in me by last spring.  I wanted to try it and I loved it.

I finally found how to help others.  When I conduct a Reiki session, I help my clients release emotions, discover their past lives, reunite with passed loved ones and even learn who their guardian angels are.  When my clients leave they literally look like a different people: relaxed and at peace. That peaceful look on their face is absolutely priceless.

So I finally figured it out after 41 years!  I thought I never would.

I know that my life purpose does not end with Reiki.  I have had two readings with similar messages. The first was "I've just begun" and the second was "this is just a dress rehearsal."  Yes that's right, everything UP TO THIS POINT WAS PRACTICE!  This is what I have done so far since April 2013 (my moment of awakening):

• communicate, see, touch and be touched by Archangels, angels, Ascended Masters, spirit guides and animal guides
• see and talk with fairies
• conduct accurate Tarot and Oracle readings for myself and others
• enter the Akashic library and retrieve the soul book for myself and others
• discovered over 50 specific past lives I have lived on earth
• trained in Reiki 1 and 2
• communicate with passed loved ones and help them heal (both humans and spirits)
• learn and use crystals for healing
• communicate with crystals and even released a trapped spirit

And this is just the dress rehearsal.  Wow!  Something big is going to happen and it's delicious to wait and see what's to come.  

Are you ready to go on the ride with me?

Helping Humans and Spirits

When I first discovered that I had the gift of mediumship six months ago, I pictured myself helping others with this gift.  Perhaps I would connect a person with a loved one who passed and finally offer them a sense of peace.  But I have to come to realize that there is an unexpected bonus to mediumship, not only do I help people who are in the physical, but I can help spirits.  I am going to share a story with you where I did just that.

As a Reiki practitioner, I connect to spirit while at the same time channel the Universal Life Force of Reiki to help heal my clients.  After several attempts to reserve an appointment, I finally booked a Reiki session with a young mother of two.  Before I started the Reiki session, I always sit down with my clients and get a feel for where they are emotionally, physically and spiritually.  I also make sure they know that I can receive messages from Spirit during Reiki and that they are comfortable with that. My client was comfortable with this so we proceeded.

Almost immediately I sensed a male presence, who was her brother who passed away as a result of an overdose.  She told me that she had been sensing him for years since his death.  She would see shadows or literally he would throw items across a room to get her attention.  Her only hope was to speak to him again and now she had the opportunity.

He told me that his death was accidental.  He felt some remorse over this.  I kept getting the word twins although they were close in age, they were not twins.  After one hour of communication with him, I closed the session.  My client had been crying the entire session.  She told me she felt better and felt that she had closure.

That evening as I lay in my bed trying to fall asleep I felt distracted by a presence in my room.  This is not new as higher spiritual beings often try to communicate with me when I am falling asleep (sometimes they even wake me up in the middle of the night).  Well I was tired and in no mood to communicate so I said whoever it is, go away.  But my request didn't work.  So then I asked Archangel Michael to take away any spirits or beings because I wanted to sleep.  Then it worked!

The next day, I went for a walk around my neighborhood and I could not stop thinking about my client's brother.  I knew something was up, because it's not like me to think of someone who I never knew and really, has no meaning in my life.  I knew that he was with me and I was not sure how to get rid of him.

Ok, now I am trying not to freak out.

Because I am new to this I consulted my mentor and a fellow intuitive friend for advice.  My mentor said to tell him to go away until I am ready to talk to him during another Reiki session with his sister. My friend told me that I should talk to him, because once he delivers his message he will go away.

All right.  Fine!

So I sat in meditation and it was like he was literally hovering over me.  I asked him what he wanted. I felt an overwhelming sadness.  He started telling me how sad he was, how much he missed being physical on earth and how much he missed being with his sister.  I tried to console him by telling him he was in spirit world now and that the separation he was feeling was an illusion.  He can actually be with his sister whenever he wants to.   But this approach didn't work.

I was racking my brain on why he was having such a hard time.  Then I thought twins!  I asked him if his sister was his twin soul.  He said yes.  No wonder!  Twin souls or twin flames have a special connection.  They are considered each other's half: the feminine aspect and the male aspect of a soul. When they are incarnate together, which is rare, they often act like twins, reading each other's minds etc.

Now it made sense why he was having such a hard time letting her go.  I instinctively felt he needed more healing so I told him this and asked him if he wanted me to help him.  As tears ran down his face, he said yes.  I immediately asked Archangel Raphael, the Archangel of healing to come and help him.  I saw Raphael arrive, put his arm around him and swoop him up into the sky.  I knew that Raphael was taking him to a special healing place in the spirit world, a sort of hospital for those souls who were not adapting well in the spirit realm.  And I sensed he was gone.

I immediately contacted his sister to tell her what happened.  She seemed concerned that she would no longer be able to sense him or even ask him for protection, as she often did.  I told her it would be temporary and when he returned, she would know.  She said for the first time since his death, she felt peace and felt like a heaviness of sadness had been lifted off her.  I knew that this sadness came from her brother and it was gone now that he was receiving the help he needed.

If I could only convey to you how amazing I felt after this experience.  When I help a soul, whether they are incarnate or not, it makes my soul sing!  It confirms to me that I am doing the right thing and finally living my life purpose.

A New Spirit Guide

A year ago I had no clue who my spirit guides were.  Spirit Guides are souls who assist us in our lives on Earth.  They can be a friend or a relative that you never knew.  Through meditation, readings from other talented intuitives and help from my intuitive friends, I know several of my guides today. Recently I met a new spirit guide, and I am sharing the story with you because it's a fascinating story of synchronicity.  In a previous post, I wrote about the clues that Spirit leaves you and how it's a puzzle that you must put together.  Learning about my new spirit guide came to me in just this way, pieces of a puzzle that I finally put together.

One evening. I was following a guided meditation and I was supposed to see a significant symbol for me.  I saw an ornate bow and arrow.  It looked like it was custom made and it was given to me (probably in a past life) as a gift from a king or queen.  I didn't know what it meant at the time but I filed away this information in my mind.

One morning last week, I left my toddler in the kitchen with her breakfast and went up stairs to change. She immediately followed me up the stairs and said she was scared.  I asked her of what.  She said, I am scared of the basement.  I asked, is there someone in the basement?  She said, yes.  A big boy  or little boy?  Big boy. she answered.  I thought uh oh, not another spirit!  But I didn't have time to deal with it at that moment so I said a quick prayer to Archangel Michael to remove any spirits that were not there for our highest good.

Later that I day I was doing Reiki on a friend.  I always connect to Spirit when I do Reiki and I was focusing on her when she says to me, "I have to tell you something.  Someone is here and he keeps saying, tell her I'm here.  Tell her I'm here."  My mind immediately went to the "big boy" in the basement.  She didn't have any other information so I tried to tune in to who this was.  It was a male, older maybe in his 50s and he was wearing a crown.  The name that I got was Richard.  I tried to communicate with him but the veil was thick so I asked Archangel Gabriel to help me figure out who he was.  Gabriel told me it was King Richard and he was here to give me a message.  The message was about the bow and arrow!

King Richard told me that I will be "hitting my target more and more and with better accuracy."  He didn't say with regard to what, but my intuition says this has to do with my psychic gifts.

A few days later I looked up King Richard on the web.  I knew there must be several in Britain.  I looked at pictures and saw one that resembled the spirit I saw.

Richard the Lion Heart

Then I read this, "killed by a crossbow."  Apparently a boy shot the King out of revenge for his parents' death. King Richard actually pardoned the boy and let him go and he died of gangrene as a result of the bow shot.

Oh. My. God.  I sat there and gasped.  Then I thought, I hope I wasn't that boy in a past life!

I still haven't figured out the details about the meaning of the bow and arrow but leave it to Spirit to come up with such an amazing synchronicity!

10 Things You Didn't Know About the Angels

As you know from reading my blog, if I communicate with any higher beings the most, it's with the angels, especially the Archangels.  These are some of the things I have seen that you may not be aware of.

1. The very first time I saw an Archangel's wings I was blown away.  They are huge!  The puny wings that artists draw or paint on angels don't even come close!  I googled Archangel images and I have yet to see an accurate rendition of how huge their wings are.

   

   Eliminate the bottom two wings and keep the top large ones and now we are getting close to Archangel wings.  

2. Angels' wings come in many colors.  Archangel Metraton's wings appeared black to me (note that they may appear different colors to others, but this is the color I see).  A healing angel, part of Archangel Raphael's group, can have green wings.  Green is the color of healing.  
3. Archangel Michael likes to be present during Reiki.  Sometimes he just hangs out.  I once was performing Reiki in a guest bedroom and he was sitting on the edge of the bed, legs crossed.  I teased him, "Don't you have anything better to do?"  He replied, "Are you kidding?  I live for this!"
4. Archangel Gabriel likes to dance.  I have seen him dance and of course I have danced with him!
   
5. Archangel Michael likes to knit!  Yes I know that sounds strange but one night I asked him for extra protection.  I saw him sitting on my front porch knitting!  I asked him, what are you doing (I seem to ask him this question a lot).  He said with loving indignation, "What? I like to knit!"
   
6. Guardian angels get very excited when they are able to communicate with humans they take care of.  I have seen and heard them laugh and clap their hands with glee, and even jump up and down. 
   
7. Fairies are a type of earth angel.  I saw a tiny pink fairy sprinkle sparkly dust on her human.  And that person felt it too! 
   
8. Angels can appear as lights.  If you see lights at the peripheral of your vision, try to note the color.  The color indicates which Archangel it is.  Michael's lights are blue, Gabriel's lights are white and Uriel's lights are orange.  
9. I once read that Archangel Michael is the inspiration for superheros.  I think this is true.  I see him with long blond hair and lots of muscles (now imagine him knitting)!
   
10. Archangel Raphael, who is in charge of healing, will come and Reiki with me.  I have seen him holding his hands in a Reiki position.  Several of my clients have felt his Reiki as pressure or a tingly sensation.  

You Don't Need to Lose 10 Pounds

Over the past couple of years I have gained weight, a lot for me.  I recently stopped weighing myself because no matter what the number, whether it be 125 or 155, I am never happy with it.  So instead of not being happy with the number on the scale, I just don't weigh myself at all.  I have been trying to love myself and everything about me by staying positive and saying positive things to myself.  Over the years I haven't been nice to myself when it comes to my weight.  Many of you could probably relate to this.

I just finished a book by Neale Donald Walsch called Communion With God.  In it, God discusses the ten illusions of life.  In it God advises about the Illusion of Need:

The way to step outside of the Illusion of Need is to look at what you think you need right now--that is, what you think you do not now have that you feel you must have--and then notice that, even though you are without it, you are still here.

The implications of this are enormous.  If you are here, right now, without what you think you need, then why do you think you need it?

The next time you imagine that you need something, ask yourself: "Why do I think I need this?"

If you are seeing clearly, you will realize that you do not need whatever "it" is, that you never needed it and that you have been making it all up.  

So I asked myself.  Do I need to lose ten pounds? No.  Am I attractive now? Yes.  Do I look good for my age?  Yes.  Am I healthy and in shape?  Yes.  So what will losing 10 pounds mean?  I could fit into some of my old clothes.  But those are replaceable, aren't they?

So the belief that I need to lose 10 pounds is just a story I tell myself.  The truth is, I want to lose 10 pounds, but I don't need to.

Do you tell yourself a story about what you need?  A new car?  A new house?  A new job?  Ask yourself, do you need any of these things and would you be happier when you received it?

Life is Miraculous

Today I was driving around town and had this thought: life is miraculous.  It really is.  Ever since I realized there was a whole another world out there aka the Spirit world, I have never been the same. Once I understood that nothing is random, I pay attention to everything.  Believing this latter concept help me understand that the thoughts, feelings and images that popped in my head meant something.  Up until a year ago I wasn't paying attention to this information.  Now I do and I have become so much wiser and happier because of it.  Not only does it help me, but now I can help others with this information.

Right now the world is changing at a breakneck speed.  You either are aware of it aka "awake" or you are not aka "asleep" or somewhere in between.   How about you?  Are you awake or are you asleep? Today I pulled this card for a client of mine.

There are a group of beautiful unicorns in a forest.  The one in the middle is awake and the rest of the unicorns are asleep.  This card symbolizes the world today.  There are a few who are awake but most people are asleep.  Now don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with the people who are asleep and those that are awake or not "better" than others.  There is no better or worse just experience, different simultaneous experiences.  

When you are awake you realize the following things:

1. The physical world is an illusion and the real world is the spirit world and all the beings within it : passed relatives; angels; Archangels; Ascended Masters like Jesus, Mother Mary or Ghandi; Goddesses like Isis or Aphrodite; unicorns, fairies, elves and other spiritual beings.  
2. These spiritual beings constantly give you messages (like love notes) by leaving coins on the ground, feathers, arranging coincidences, showing you the same numbers over and and over again etc.  
3. When you notice these little things they start to add up.  I have a new friend who is absolutely befuddled that she keeps seeing feathers everywhere.  Of course, these are the angels.  
4. These little "love notes"  are little miracles, they are a reminder to you of who you really are: you are a soul having a human experience.  Your soul is the real you, the wise you, and the one who is aware of your constant connection with the Spirit realm.  
5. In the end, all these little messages add up to a miraculous day and then a miraculous life.  

So do you want to see signs too?  Look for them, they are all around you!  Did you see an unusual animal or insect, look up its meaning as an animal totem.  Did you find a penny on the ground?  Look at the year on it, does it match the year a loved one passed?  It's a message from them that they are OK and they are thinking of you!  Found a feather on your bathroom floor?  Thank the angel who you left it there for you.  Keep seeing the same numbers over and over again on clocks, receipts and license plates? Look up their angel number meanings.  

Because I am always looking for signs, my life has become miraculous.  Everyday is a fun adventure. The "coincidences" can be so funny!  And seeing them and noticing them makes me feel loved and taken care of.  Because I am loved and you are too.  

If you would like to connect with passed loves ones, learn the names of your guardian angels or simply need guidance on life, I can get the answers you want by connecting with Spirit via Tarot and/or Reiki. Please email me if you would like a reading.  

Feel free to comment on this post if you have noticed little messages or love notes that were left for you.  

Understanding Past Lives

For the past year I have been trying different ways to learn about my past lives.  I have believed in reincarnation for a long time.  I could simply not believe in the alternative, which would be one life and that's it.  That didn't make sense to me at all.  We have one life?  Why?  Why not more?  What would be the point of one life?  Plus there is so much evidence to the contrary, such as near death experiences or that precious little boy who saw Jesus in the book, and now TV movie, called Heaven is Real. Recently a little boy remembered how he was murdered in a previous life, you can read about it here.

My first exposure to reincarnation was Buddhist philosophy.  I learned that Buddhists believe that all life is precious, including an insect.  So you shouldn't deliberately step on a bug.  I used to laugh at this especially since I am not fond of bugs.  But now that I have evolved spiritually, I actually think twice!  I ask myself, is it necessary to kill that bug?  Or can I somehow find a way to get it outside?  In fact, I recently did this with a centipede I found in my home.  Sometimes it's unavoidable, when the annual parade of ants enters my kitchen after a rainstorm.  But now, it's not so easy for me to kill them.

When I first learned about Hinduism, they taught that if you were bad in one life, you could be reincarnated as something horrendous, like a slug.  I thought that was an interesting concept, but this didn't resonate with me and sounded like the angry God of Catholicism, so I quickly moved on.

In the past year I have read numerous books on reincarnation, especially information gathered from regression hypnosis from authors like Dr. Brian Weiss, Lois Wetzel or Dolores Cannon.  Up until this point, my simple concept of reincarnation was this:  a soul was contained in a body, when that body died the soul would leave and eventually would occupy another body.  The soul came here to learn lessons or to relearn lessons or make up for mistakes made in past lives.

Here was my problem, if God was perfect and we were made in the image of her than why were we so imperfect? Why do we even have to learn lessons? The answer is the soul is perfect but we forget that we are when we are born in the physical in order to experience life for God and experience who we really are at any given moment.  In fact, I recently learned that a soul is so huge and the vibration so large that it can not be contained in one body, it is more like an enormous energy field.  With this fact in mind, and the fact there is no such thing as time and everything is happening right now, our soul could be having hundreds, perhaps thousands (like I have been told in readings) of lives all at the same time!

In addition, every thought and decision we make (and the various options/consequences) creates a parallel universe where that option is played out!  For example, today I decided to lay out in my yard instead of go to the pool.  But there is a Tina who in a parallel universe that plays out what happened when I go to the pool instead of stay in my yard.

Did I lose you yet?

Let me give you a specific example from my life where I remembered a "past" life that is affecting my "present" one. In fact, in this case my past self is aware of my present self but not vice versa.   I have had neck and shoulder pain since I was child. There was not one thing that triggered it, it just started when I was 11.  By the time I was a teenager, I was trying to sleep on the floor because I thought the crappy beds in my boarding school were hurting my back.  I have been to countless chiropractors and physical therapists.  I have taken a ton of Advil. Dr. Weiss and most other past life regressionists, propose that healing can come from remembering past lives, sometimes very quickly.  So I have tried to remember what they are through hypnosis, meditation or intuitive readings by others.  So far (get ready it's gruesome) I have been mauled by a bear, had my head chopped off, been stoned to death and wore a heavy ibis mask as a Thoth priest in ancient Egypt.  So far remembering these lives has not gotten rid of the back pain for good.

Last weekend I saw my mentor and multi-talented spiritual medium, Shaman and Reiki Master Joy.  I asked her to help me resolve this pain, what else do I need to know?  What else do I need to heal?  She gave me Reiki and had a vision of me as a slave girl with some sort of farming contraption on my shoulders and I was pulling it through earth, like a horse would. She said that this girl is aware of me in my present life and she resents me because she feels like I have an easy life and that she could never be happy. So Joy talked with her to convince her that she could drop that contraption from her shoulders and she no longer needs to carry it, that she can be happy too. She said there was also a fear that once you are happy, it will not last (Joy said every time I have that thought, my back pain may show up again). I admitted that I also felt this way, more so in the past. There is also a future part of myself that is afraid that the happiness won’t last either. So she pulled these two parts of myself into my present body and my angels advised me to “have faith.” Hopefully this will do the trick, otherwise I am open to learning more, and open to further healing.

Today I was thinking about that little slave girl. I want her to know that, in her honor, I will do my best to be happy, and to take nothing for granted. And I remind myself, to not view life as a burden, but a source of joy and happiness.  Release your burden little one, and enjoy life with me!

Don't Judge a Book By Its Cover

My husband I recently went on a wonderful escorted tour of several cities in Spain.  We joined an existing tour group in Madrid.  They had been traveling a week together before we joined the group. As part of our group, there were two Catholic nuns traveling together.  We happened to sit next to them during our first dinner.

Toledo, Spain

Now here is some background before I continue the story.  I grew up Catholic.  I went to five years of Catholic school.  I found Catholic school stifling to say the least: sit down, be quiet, don't talk, don't move etc.  Pure obedience was expected.  The teachers that I had in Catholic school taught a lot of fear: fear of God especially.  Oh also that we all born sinners.  I had one nun as a teacher in Catholic school, Sister Mary.  She was tall and thin and from New Hampshire.  She proudly used to tell the story that every Sunday morning in her small town of Littleton, a parade of cars would leave their driveways to head to Catholic service.  Let's just say my opinion of Catholicism is not exactly positive.

So when I met the Catholic nuns on our tour, I had all these preconceived notions on what they were like already.  But I was soon to be proved wrong.  First of all, one of the nuns, Mary Ann, was drinking wine.  I didn't know nuns drank wine!  When she asked me what I did, I told her about my children but I also told her about my Reiki training, interest in crystal healing and the recent moon celebration I attended.  And to my shock she thought all of that was wonderful!

So I get this lesson once in a while, and it has not been my first time: don't judge a book by its cover.  I found Mary Ann refreshing and it gave me hope that even Catholic nuns could be modern and open minded!

What is an Animal Totem?

Nowadays when I see a wild animal, I do not simply see an animal; I try to understand the spiritual significance of that animal.  To me, this is what Animal Totem means.  According to my favorite website on animal totems,

"The animals express the spirit nature of that species and exemplify qualities we can learn from. They are psychological and spiritual symbols that convey to us qualities we are needing or lacking in our daily lives. They are a mirror of us reflecting our own innate qualities to help ourselves better understand our connection to all things."

If you pay attention to nature or simply look around, there are animals everywhere.  When you see the same animal over and over again, you need to pay attention this.  There is a message for you.  If you have an unusual sighting of an animal, pay attention to that too.  I look up that animal or insect at this site http://www.starstuffs.com/animal_totems/index.html. 

Last week I found a large centipede hiding under a paper cup in my basement bathroom.  To be honest, I am not over fond of bugs especially if they end up inside my home.  So I ran the water over it but it was too big to go down the drain.  So I continued to run the water and captured it in a cup and tossed it outside.  Hey, at least I didn’t kill it!  I quickly looked up what a centipede meant here it said,

“Movement into new psychic connections and relationships. Protection against psychic deceptions. Balance, coordination, ability to survive stress, the beauty of coordinated movement.”

So what do I do with this piece of information?  I try to understand how this animal sighting is significant in my life now.  Sometimes it doesn't make sense right away, so I file it away and take a look at it later.  That’s the way Spirit works, you have to pay attention, make note of it and eventually it will make sense.  Like putting puzzles pieces together. 

Today I had the privilege of meeting my animal totem, a black bear.  I was doing a guided meditation as part of an online course called Find Your Calling in the Akashics (you can find this course on the www.dailyom.com).  My animal totem was supposed to appear out of the forest and there it was, a black bear.  I asked the bear its name and it said Mario.  He told me that he is my animal totem because he is a combination of ferociousness and nurturing.  Do I know exactly what this means?  Not really.  Could it be referring to me?  Possibly.  According to my animal totem website, a bear represents:

“Sub/Unconscious mind, strength, grounding, inner energy of soul to find answers, judgments, are you too critical or not critical enough, inner power to taste the honey of life. Bear teaches caution, quiet of the mind and silence within. There is great power in introspection which awakens insights and opportunities. Bears teach leadership, natural healing abilities and defending when necessary. Are you eating a balanced diet? Utilizing your intuition? Being cautious? Brown, black or white, what does the color say to you? Bear will show how to balance and express oneself.”

Isn't it amazing how one animal can represent so many things and deliver such a detailed message?  So pay attention to the animals that appear in your life, look up their significance and learn from the messages they are giving you!

My Guardian Angel

Six months ago I decided to purchase some guided meditations on Amazon.  For years I wanted to meditate but I was always intimidated by the idea.  How could I quiet my mind when my mind was always constantly racing?  Plus I would probably sit there chastising myself for not being able to clear my mind!  So I decided to start with guided meditations.  One of the meditations I downloaded was one to meet your guardian angel.

I have always fantasized about my guardian angel.  Who could it be?  A relative who passed?  Or my dad?  I imagined my guardian angel with me in times of distress but I never consistently thought of him/her.   I imagined that they would show up in life or death situations but I couldn't imagine them being around the mundane happenings in my life.  I always liked the idea of angels but I was never sure they existed.  I really wanted them to be real! Well, little did I know, I was about to find out!

When I began my guardian angel meditation, I laid down in what yogis like to call the corpse pose.

I was never fond of sitting with  my legs crossed.  My feet always fell asleep or my back would start to hurt.  So I started the meditation in the corpse pose and tried to focus on the narrator's words.  She guided me through a garden and eventually to a person.  I could imagine all this well up until this point. As I focused with my mind's eye a.k.a.  my third chakra (centered in the middle of your forehead), a form started to appear before me.  I had no expectations on who it could be.  I even imagined it would be someone I didn't even know.  I couldn't really see the person at first, like he/she was in fog.  This is often called "the veil".  When a medium tries to connect with a spiritual being it's like trying to see through a veil.

When I asked the being who it was, he answered Archangel Gabriel.  Ummm what?!  I laid there in shock.  But the meditation continued so I just followed it.  Then he started to appear more clearly to me. He had long dark brown hair and a blue gown with a roped belt and humongous wings.  I mean huge, a lot of artwork out there does not do it justice!  Later I searched the internet for a picture that resembled him.  This was the closest I could find...

But again his wings were much bigger.  They were probably twice as high as the picture above.  He also had a twinkle in his eye and of course, was very handsome.

I was immediately comfortable with him.  I hugged him and I could see his enormous wings around me. I asked him if he had a message for me.  He said, "Keep doing what you're doing.  You're doing a good job and so many people (in the spirit world) are watching you and they are proud of you."  We didn't talk much after that.  We just enjoyed being together.  We danced and he twirled me around.  He flew into the air and flapped his ginormous wings.  He was simply awesome.

I was actually crying during the meditation and I felt my heart chaka opening.  He felt like a fatherly figure and I felt safe with him.  After the meditation I still couldn't believe it.  I didn't even know that someone's guardian angel could be an Archangel.  For those of you who don't know, Gabriel is in the Bible.  He is the angel who told Mary that she was going to give birth to Jesus!  According to Doreen Virtue's book Angels and Ascended Masters, Gabriel is the angel of parents, art and communication. Since I am a parent, an art teacher and a blogger, well that's just about perfect!

Since then I have connected with Gabriel many times.  It's quite easy for me to communicate with him, I simply have to take a few deep breaths and then feel out with my mind if he's there.  He always is.

Why We Should Play With Magic

Have you ever heard of the song by Katy Perry called the Dark Horse?  The lyrics go like this:

I knew you were
You were gonna come to me
And here you are
But you better choose carefully
‘Cause I, I’m capable of anything
Of anything and everything

Make me your Aphrodite
Make me your one and only
But don’t make me your enemy, your enemy, your enemy

So you wanna play with magic
Boy, you should know what you're falling for
Baby do you dare to do this?
Cause I’m coming at you like a dark horse
Are you ready for, ready for
A perfect storm, perfect storm
Cause once you’re mine, once you’re mine
There’s no going back

Mark my words
This love will make you levitate
Like a bird
Like a bird without a cage
But down to earth
If you choose to walk away, don’t walk away

It’s in the palm of your hand now baby
It’s a yes or no, no maybe
So just be sure before you give it all to me
All to me, give it all to me

So you wanna play with magic
Boy, you should know what you're falling for
Baby do you dare to do this?
Cause I’m coming at you like a dark horse
Are you ready for, ready for
A perfect storm, perfect storm
Cause once you’re mine, once you’re mine (love trippin')
There’s no going back

This song plays with a lot of stereotypes about magic: that it's forbidden, that it means putting a sexual spell on men and that it's all powerful.  There is a reason why magic has a bad name and it has to do with female power.

In BC,  people worshiped both both gods and goddesses.  Then 2,000 years ago goddess worship dropped out of sight as Christianity began to grow.  Coincidence?  I think not.  

Part of my spiritual journey is to understand feminine power and one way to do this is to learn about ancient goddesses.  A second way is to embrace my menstrual cycle.  I recently read a book called Moon Time: a Guide to Celebrating Your Menstrual Cycle by Lucy H. Pearce.  I've decided instead of ignoring my cycle and pretending it doesn't exist (i.e. the woman's curse), I would instead try to understand it. Everything contains cycles, the four seasons is a well-known example.  The definition of cycle is a series of events that are regularly repeated in the same order.  And inherent in that definition is that each week varies.  So during any woman's menstrual cycle, each week varies.

Do you remember the commercials that advertised you can do anything during your period, even wear a white bikini?

Like who decided this was a good idea?  In fact, Pearce says that during the "bleeding time" we should be taking it easy.  This is not the week to be doing high energy work or making big decisions.  The week of our periods is the time to regroup. And what does society tell us?  You can do anything during your period.  Don't let it stop you.  But this is not necessarily what is best for women.  And there certainly is no understanding of how cycles work and affect women.  

Did you know that a woman's cycle used to be tied to the moon?  Pearce says that "the most common menstrual pattern is to bleed on the dark moon and to ovulate on the full moon...the 28 day menstrual cycle correlates with the moon's cycle."  How many women out there have a cycle like this?  With the advent of birth control and artificial light (which changes our natural hormonal response to the moonlight) our cycles are all out of wack!

Why is this important and what does this have to do with magic?  The source of feminine power is within the womb.  This is the ultimate source of our creativity, where we grow our babies.  Does this sound like magic to you?  Well it is!  

Other ways that feminine power manifests is in our ability to nurture and use our right-brown power i.e. yes, psychic abilities such as intuition, feeling, thoughts that convey messages for ourselves and others.    

So Katy Perry sings "So you wanna play with magic?  Boy you should know who you're falling for". Go ahead play with magic.  It's not a bad thing and for women, it only comes natural.  No one is going to burn us at the stake for this.  It's safe now.  Embrace your magical female power.  

Helping a Soul Cross Over

I had my second mediumship class with Joy today. Today I focused on connecting with souls that Joy could verify herself.  While I was connecting, I would just receive thoughts or sometimes I would see what I would call pictures in my mind.  One of the souls I connected to was a little girl.  I had the feeling this girl haunted Joy when she herself was a child.  Joy verified this and said that yes, as a little girl she was scared to death of the basement and she had imagined snakes under her bed.  I understood that this little ghost girl was bitten by a snake in the basement and consequently died.  I also knew that she liked to hide in Joy's closet.  Joy said she didn't like to leave her hand or foot dangling over the bed for fear "something" would touch her.

The ghost girl used to play with Joy but Joy did not remember this.  I saw a blue ball that they would play with together, but Joy said she didn't remember that either.  I sensed that the ghost girl was very mischievous, she liked to scare or "play" with Joy.  She said she was sorry for scaring Joy.

I could picture Joy's bedroom...a small twin bed on the right, a window straight ahead and a small closet on the left.  Joy said the only inaccuracy was where the closet was...but she said that she used to change bedrooms in the house so that may explain it.  

I paused at this time when I was not getting any information.  And then I asked myself, is this girl stuck on Earth? I wasn't sure so I asked Joy if she thought the ghost girl was stuck.  She was!  So Joy asked if we should help her cross over.  I enthusiastically said yes!  This time Joy did most of the talking and she asked the girl to look around for the light.  The girl said she was scared and she was afraid of the snakes on the other side.  Joy told her that it was safe on the other side, only love and light.  She asked the girl if she wanted her mother to come and get her.  The girl refused saying she was scared of her mother. Apparently, Joy said the little girl's mother used to lock her in the basement so that was not a good choice.  Joy then asked if her grandmother could come get her and she was also scared of her.  So Joy asked her angels to come get her.  And for a few minutes we both sat in silence.  After a while, I felt light (like a weight had been lifted) and I sensed that the little ghost had gone into the light.  Joy verified that she did.

My soul literally soared after this.  I felt wonderful helping this little girl who was stuck in Joy's childhood home for at least 45 years if not longer!  I am also amazed that Joy could communicate with a the same soul I could.

How to Interpret Your Dreams

I have always been a prolific dreamer and I often remember my dreams.  That being said, I forget a lot of details of my dreams if I don't write them down in a journal.  But some dreams do stay with me, especially if I think they're unusual and I think about them a lot after I wake up.

Have you ever looked at a dream interpretation dictionary, looked up your dream and it still didn't make sense to you?  I used to think that dreams were symbolic but I still could not make sense of them. Once I really starting delving into past lives, my dreams started making more sense.  I started to take my dreams more literally and they started to make sense as past life memories or stories.  This is especially helpful if you had a bad or disturbing dream and have no idea what it means.  For example, the last "bad" dream I had was quite disturbing and it woke me up in the middle of the night.  When the dream begins, I suddenly know that I am responsible for killing a young horse.  I see that the horse has been severed completely below the shoulders (gruesome I know but hang in there).  I try to get rid of the young horse by putting it into a pit.  The mother horse approaches the pit, looks into it and recognizes its her baby.  Suddenly she looks up at me with an intent to get me for this.  She starts after me and I run for my life toward a farmhouse, knowing if the horse catches up to me she will kill me (and rightly so I might add).  When I get to the door of the farm house I have to open three successive doors to enter.  I make it inside just in time and I wake up.

As I lay there disturbed about the dream, I asked myself why am I dreaming this.   My only conclusion is this must be a past life dream.  Of course I could go the traditional route and try to understand the symbology of the dream...like the young horse represents something that ended or an idea I rejected, but that seems like too much work.  It's just easier and makes more sense that this is a past life memory.

When you have a dream, ask yourself what is the lesson of the dream?  What am I supposed to learn? Then ask yourself who is in the dream and does it represent someone in your present life?  When I reflected on the dream, I felt that I was running away from a mistake that I made.  I knew within the dream that I did something wrong.  The lesson is that I have to face my mistakes and not run away from them.

As for anyone familiar in the dream I came up with a disturbing answer/thought.  I believe the soul of the young horse is the same soul of my beagle who passed away over two years ago.  Let me tell you a little about him.  His name was Tucker and he was originally my husband's dog.  He was 4 years old when we all met.  Tucker was not an easy dog to live with.  He was a dominant fellow who was barely trained when I met him (sorry hubby but it's true).  Of course here comes a new member of the family (me)  who is also an alpha female.  So of course we clashed.  Although I loved Tucker, it was hard to love him sometimes even though I tried.  When he passed away I was wrecked.  I thought I was prepared because he had been sick for months, but my heart still broke.

Tucker and I, Christmas 2004

In the weeks and months after he passed, I dreamed of him several times.  In the first dream I saw him as a young Tucker running wildly in a grassy field.  I figured that was a good sign that he was happy now.  In another dream he was older and heavier like he was toward the end of his life.  There were older kids picking on him, trying to ride him like a "horsie"  (wow I see how this applies now).  I gently tell the children to get off of him, that he's old and fragile.  Tucker looks up at me gratefully.  I understood this dream as Tucker's message to me that he was grateful that I took care of him in the end.

As I think of Tucker now, I do really miss him but sometimes I feel ashamed that I didn't have more patience with him.  Regardless of how frustrated he made me feel, I still took care of him and he was my constant companion until the end of his days.  And I think through my dreams, I have understood what kind of past we had together and how during each successive lifetime he gave me lessons to learn and I had to rise to meet the challenge of them.

So if you have a dream you can't figure out, ask yourself the following questions:  what is the lesson of the dream?  How does this lesson apply to you today?  Who is familiar in this dream to you?  Because the dream may be more than symbolic, it could actually be a past life memory reminding you of a lesson that you learned or may still need to learn.

Many Lives, Many Masters NYC Conference March 8, 2014

I traveled to New York City last weekend to attend Dr. Brian Weiss's conference on past lives.  The conference title Many Lives, Many Masters is also a title of one his books.  When I attended the Hay House I Can Do It! conference in National Harbor last fall, Dr.  Weiss presented there as well and led a group meditation. During the meditation I remembered quite a few past lives and so I find his method of mediation/hypnosis very effective.  Since then I purchased one of his CDs on meditation which I have had good results with as well.

Dr. Weiss and Oprah

My hometown is New York City and I don't get many chances to visit.  This trip was a special treat for me, since I did it alone (parents with young children know what I am talking about).  Just being on the bus by myself reading, listening to music and writing in a journal without interruptions was just pure pleasure.

As I was on the bus, we traveled down a road I often drive on called Sycolin Creek.  It's a rural road and known for deer.  There are fields of corn and quaint farm houses with sheep and horses along this road.  Because I was on a commuter bus, I was higher up than I usually am in my sedan. Then I had a realization, we often see the world from one viewpoint, like from the car or from the ground.  But there are actually multiple views, from above and from below.  And just because we don't see it doesn't mean it doesn't exist.  This same concept can be applied to the spirit world.  We have a three dimensional view but that doesn't mean that there are not other views or dimensions.  You just can't see it from where you are standing.  So keep your mind open, and know that what you see is not all that is and it's not the complete picture.  There could be a stream you missed, a deer in the woods or a hill above you that you didn't notice before.

On Saturday morning I checked in to the conference.  As expected, most of the attendees were women. This is no surprise to me and it doesn't make me sad, I just take it as a sign that women are "waking up" faster than men right now.  In addition, for thousands of years women have been suppressed, both physically and emotionally, and literally we are rising up and and breaking free.  These are all good signs.

As Dr.Weiss spoke to a bigger-than-expected turnout of 2,000 people, he shared some statistics about belief in past lives.  He said more than half of the world believes in past lives.  In the US about 25-35% of Americans believe in past lives, so we are actually lagging behind the rest of the world (no surprise there).  I felt these facts were reassuring since I often feel alone in my beliefs.  He said countries like India and Argentina are very excited about past lives. He said it was slowly changing and that more and more people are becoming open to it.  In addition, only half the people at the conference would have a past life memory but they might get a message from spirit instead.

During the day, we did three meditations.  Two were focused on past lives and the final one was focused on healing an ailment.  We also practiced psychometry.  According to Wikipedia, psychometry means spirit measure and is a form of extra-sensory perception characterized by the claimed ability to make relevant associations from an object of unknown history by making physical contact with that object.  In other words, you hold a stranger's object of choice, meditate on it and receive messages about that person.  I was especially excited about trying this out.  

Past Life Memories

During the first meditation, which was 30 minutes, I remembered the following (Dr.Weiss asked us to remember a childhood memory, while in utero and then a past life):

1. I was a little girl of about four years in this lifetime.  I had pigtails and I was swinging in the sunshine at Riverside Park close to where I lived in Manhattan.  I was feeling very happy.  My father was there watching me.  Suddenly I noticed a boy close to my age standing at the top of a slide.  He had dark brown hair in a bowl cut and brown eyes.  Then I jump to a scene where he and I were sitting next to each other on a small patch of grass watching a ladybug.  We were just watching it, fascinated.  I recalled my father standing there watching us and then suddenly the little boy was gone.  I realized that the boy was not in physical form but in spirit and I felt very close to him.  When he left I felt very sad. 

Riverside Park, NYC

2.  While in the womb, I could feel myself floating and feeling very safe and loved.  I could hear my mother speaking in Filipino, and my father's voice as well.  (At this point Dr. Weiss asked us to fast forward to our birth).  I remember as I was being born, I was losing all my past life memories.  I felt cold and a very loving nurse wrapped me in a blanket.  She seemed familiar.  

3.  Here I remembered a life between lives on Earth (this is my first memory of an in-between life).  I was in a large castle-like building and I was a being of light.  I looked like a column of light but I could see an image of a human-like person inside. There were many light beings rushing around, busy.  It reminded me of 5th avenue on a busy day. We were communicating to each other telepathically, saying hello and how are you but not pausing our work.  We were "earth angels" helping humans!  I felt emotional remembering this.  There were so many requests coming through that we didn't have time to stop.  

I forwarded to a later time in that life where I am with my soul group.  A soul group is a group of souls that reincarnate together over and over again.   My husband, daughters and parents were all there.  We were planning our lives for our incarnation in this lifetime.  I saw us gathering together laughing at some of our Earth plans.  Later I saw us getting ready to incarnate in chronological order.  So my parents went first.  I was holding hands with my husband, ready to go.  Then I remembered Archangel Gabriel and I having a conversation alone, just the two of us.  We planned something together for this lifetime.  Something I was going to do and he was going to help me.  I saw an image of a key.  A key to unlocking something?  I am not sure.  

In the afternoon, we did another second 30 minute meditation.  

A male spirit guide named John appears.  He shows me rooms in the Akashic Hall of Records (a place in the spirit world where all knowledge is stored, including each person's soul book).  I remembered the following past lives.

1)  I see an image of me as a male warrior throwing a spear at a woolly mammoth.  I ask John what's the lesson for remembering this life?  I hear that I must appreciate the animals in my life and never take them for granted.  In this past life as a warrior, I did not appreciate how this animal provided food and clothing for me.  

2)  It's 1500 during the Renaissance in Italy.  I am a male artist working under the mentor-ship of the great artists of that time.  I was afraid to speak my truth because often people were persecuted, tortured and killed for voicing their beliefs.  

3)  My friend Peter (name changed for privacy reasons) asked me to remember a past life with him and this is what I remembered.  This is the first time I did a meditation where I intended on remembering a past life with someone.  I wasn't sure it would work but it did.  This life was during Atlantis.  I am wearing shoes that look like Santa's elf shoes and they are made of a shimmery material.  I am also wearing a robe of similar material.  I am female and I am friends with Peter.  He is a like a mad scientist and he is working on experiments that he shouldn't be working on.  I have warned him that he shouldn't go down this path and it was dangerous.  But he refuses to listen.  Fast forward and Peter dies in an accident as a result of his experiments.  I feel sad that he didn't listen to me.  But the lesson in this life is that I can counsel someone but they have the free will to do whatever they want.  So the lesson is to let it go. The lesson for Peter is to avoid extremism and stay balanced.  I die peacefully of old age, outliving everyone that I loved.  

Psychometric Exercise

Dr. Weiss asked us to exchange an object with a stranger.  I exchanged my wedding ring with a woman sitting in front of me.  She gave me a necklace with the initial S on it.  Dr. Weiss asked us to sit quietly for five minutes, open to receiving messages, images, thoughts or feelings while we held the object. At first I kept thinking of Archangel Michael.  So I asked him what's the message?  He told me that the woman I was reading for had to trust her abilities.  She had to work on her self confidence. Because there was an initial S on her necklace, I kept wondering what the name was.  I thought an "Sa"  name like Samantha or Sally.  But then I thought the S was not her name but her child's name.  I also got the impression that this woman was going on a vacation somewhere sunny, perhaps without children. 

When we starting discussing our impression,  the woman, Jane told me that her son's name had an "Sa" in it and yes, she was going to San Francisco by herself soon.  I asked her if she ever prayed to Archangel Michael and she said no, so I encouraged her to seek his help since he has a interest in her. 

She envisioned me living in a two story house surrounded by trees.  This is an accurate description of my house.  She also saw me taking off two rings and putting them in a box on my dresser.  The dresser has a mirror.   She had the impression that there was nothing negative about taking off the rings.  This was correct as well.  I often take off my wedding and engagement rings at night because in the morning my fingers swell up and the rings are tight.  Ironically, I just got those rings re-sized!  She sensed that my bedroom was green (it's got teal bedding).  She also thought about Roanoke, VA.  I had no idea what that was about.  But I have filed this away since I am sure it will come up...

So I would say that was an extremely productive day!  And I met a few people that hope to keep in touch with!